Did the journal factory explode?

Where are the boundaries of oversharing?

Unfortunately for everyone around me, i really suck at talking about how I feel. I hate giving anyone the idea that I’m struggling (even when I could really use some help) I hate sharing my doubts and fears and I find it incredibly uncomfortable to admit being sad or lonely without to crutch of humour. However, I have come to the realisation that when you don’t talk about these things, you end up with hollow friendships, so I have been endeavouring to do better and be a little more vulnerable (ew, I hate that too, but we move on.)

That was, until one viral TikTok comment. ‘Did the journal factory explode?’ Did it indeed. My personal journal factory has not exploded, no. I’m a very avid journaler (if that’s a word,) I love making collages and saving receipts and storing up experiences to go in my little pink notebook. My issue is not a lack of journaling, but an overreliance on it to avoid talking about my feelings with real people. Therefore, like anyone who dwells on things too much, the ‘journal factory’ comment has stumped me. Where are the boundaries of what is considered oversharing, and what is just a normal part of friendship? Is there a difference between oversharing when it’s in a comment section compared to when it’s in real life?

Now is probably the time to mention that I really struggle with the boundaries of closeness in friendships. I can never accurately judge when you’ve known someone for long enough to give an honest answer to ‘how are you doing.?’ The concept of a close friendship is ineffable to me, because I have no idea what elements constitute closeness, or how it develops, or how you start talking about difficult topics and when the right time to do so is. It seems like such a natural part of life for everyone around me, especially women, but to use a handy metaphor from musical theatre, I usually feel like I’m tapping on the glass, waving through a window, dealing with this invisible barrier that prevents me from developing real close friendships like everyone else.

Anyway, back to this idea of boundaries. In a way, the internet can feel like more of a safe space to open up than to friends. A comment section is essentially a void you can scream your secrets and confessions into and no one is forced to respond unless they have had a similar experience and want to connect with you. To me, this is the perfect inbetween of a journal and real people, because you can still get a response and feel seen, without taking the chance that everyone will stare at you like you’re mad, or get uncomfortable. The internet is not a friend, so there is no confusing calculation of if you’re close enough to share what’s been weighing on you. ‘Did the journal factory explode?’ is jarring in this context, because if someone is oversharing online, you can simply swipe past them instead of ridiculing them for opening up. Yes, there are some incredibly cringy comments that should probably have been inside thoughts, but you never know what people need to get off their chests. I would argue that ‘did the journal factory explode’ is a product of rising individualism, people eager to protect their peace and justify cancelling plans last minute with therapy speak. While I definitely fall into this category more often than not, I’ve also realised that building a community and lasting friendships requires being a little uncomfortable, showing up and talking about difficult topics, instead of dismissing them in the name of boundaries.

What was the point of this article? If I’m being honest, I’ve forgotten. This entire thing could also be dismissed with one ‘did the journal factory explode?’ as it’s full of personal details that no one really needed to know. But as someone actively trying to be more open, this is an exercise in putting a little bit too much of myself into something and knowing it’s okay. The journal factory will not explode. The journal factory can coexist with human connection. The journal factory does not have ownership over our thoughts and feelings.